In Spain, for example, this is much less of a cultural minefield because everyone more or less uses the familiar form \u201ctu\u201d except in situations which present themselves as obviously formal (courtrooms, official letters and so on), where they use “usted”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Du and Sie Conundrum: How to say You in German<\/strong><\/h2>\n <\/p>\n
Germany, unfortunately, does not have such an easy and recognisable split.<\/p>\n
Being too informal with someone could in some scenarios offend and come across as being disrespectful. Choosing to perhaps be overly formal and use Sie<\/em> would not.<\/p>\nThe person you are addressing may take this approach as being a little old-fashioned but it would certainly not offend, and is best to err on the side of caution. German society is generally pretty formal.<\/p>\n
When I was learning German at school and was taught the rules how to say you<\/em> in German, we were told to use the formal Sie<\/em> when addressing basically everyone other than classmates, those younger than us or family members. While it’s easy to oversimplify this to 16-year-old high school students,\u00a0an employee in Germany who has to deal with various private and professional scenarios faces a more complex picture.<\/p>\nGermans even have two verbs for distinguishing between both of these forms;\u00a0duzen <\/strong>(to call somebody “Du”)\u00a0<\/strong>and siezen <\/strong>(to call somebody “Sie”).<\/p>\nLet\u2019s examine a few situations in more detail:Save<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Du-and-Sie-Work-min.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.29.3″ width=”60%” width_tablet=”80%” width_phone=”95%” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” box_shadow_style=”preset2″ box_shadow_horizontal=”10px” box_shadow_vertical=”10px” box_shadow_blur=”12px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.6)” width__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Officialdom Bureaucracy” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n
Officialdom & Bureaucracy<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
This one is extremely easy on the Du <\/i>and Sie<\/i>\u00a0front. Always use the Sie form.<\/strong> They will do the same.<\/p>\nWhen dealing with the police, it is even enshrined in German law that one is not permitted to use the informal Du<\/em>. Beware if you slip up and make an innocent mistake as it could land you a hefty fine!<\/p>\nFor all of your other bureaucratic necessities upon arrival in Germany<\/a>, you’re going to need the Sie form too.<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Work” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n
Work<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
Let\u2019s get the trickiest part of how to say you\u00a0<\/em>in Germany\u00a0out of the way with first!<\/p>\nThe German work environment can be a tough one for expats to acclimatise to for many reasons, but one of the foremost is the etiquette around formalities – i.e. when to use Du and Sie – in the workplace. Our earlier post around German workplace culture<\/a> helps to set the scene on what to expect.<\/p>\nSmall and medium-sized, family owned businesses tend to be more old school when it comes to workplace formalities. Creative industries and larger corporations tend to be more chilled and have moved with the times.<\/p>\n
As a very general rule, Germans tend to address each other formally at work<\/strong> unless they explicitly agree to be on more familiar terms with one another. It is not unusual for colleagues who have known each other and shared an office for 15 years to still use Sie<\/em> and to address each other as Herr X and Frau Y, although this is now becoming more uncommon as younger Germans who have experienced more laid-back cultures replace retiring baby-boomers.<\/p>\nCertainly if you are going to be managing subordinates, you should begin by addressing them formally and then ask them if they feel happy to duzen<\/em>.<\/p>\nBe prepared that a member of staff may say no! Likewise, you should address your boss formally until he or she decides to instigate moving to a more informal relationship.<\/p>\n
A more junior member of staff should not be addressed involuntarily using the informal Du<\/em>, when they are expected to address their seniors as Sie<\/em>.<\/p>\nThis setup is gradually changing.<\/strong> Especially in foreign-owned multinational companies, there is often a flat hierarchy policy which stipulates that colleagues all address each other using the familiar Du<\/em> form.<\/p>\nThis is particularly prevalent in American, British and Scandinavian companies operating in Germany, where working environments are typically less formal and often English will be spoken throughout the company.<\/p>\n
Tech industries also follow this policy. If you\u2019re working in a startup, it is highly unlikely that even the CEO will want to be addressed as Sie<\/em>.<\/p>\nIf you\u2019re meeting somebody through a colleague with whom you already use the informal Du<\/em>, it depends on the setting. Being introduced to another colleague in the works canteen who is joining you to eat together, it\u2019s usually OK to use Du<\/em> (assuming of course that your colleague and this other person already address each other on familiar terms).<\/p>\nAt a training event or a trade fair, I would err more on the side of caution and address people formally, even if you are being introduced to them by a colleague who is a mutual connection and with whom you are on familiar terms. You can soon break free of the formalities if both parties are happy to move to Du<\/em>. As a foreigner, it’s usually best to let the German take the lead on this one!<\/strong><\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Du-and-Sie-kids-min.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.29.3″ width=”60%” width_tablet=”80%” width_phone=”95%” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” box_shadow_style=”preset2″ box_shadow_horizontal=”10px” box_shadow_vertical=”10px” box_shadow_blur=”12px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.6)” width__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Children and Youths” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n
Children and youths<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
Children are typically addressed as Du<\/em> by adults, up until the point that they become adults themselves, i.e. at around 18 years of age, at which point .<\/p>\nThe risk of a cultural faux-pas here is if you happen to address a baby-faced 19 or 20 year old as Du<\/em>! If in doubt, just play it safe and use Sie<\/em>.<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Acquaintances met through friends” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n
Acquaintances met through friends<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
If the setting is in an informal environment, such as in a bar or caf\u00e9, a housewarming party, kids\u2019 birthday and so on, in almost all cases it is the norm to start off using Du<\/em>.<\/p>\nThe logic goes that if the introduction is made through a mutual friend, this is sufficient enough upon which to address one another informally, just as you do with your friend.<\/p>\n
The logic changes if, for example, your friend introduces you to her sister, who let\u2019s say happens to be a dentist, and the discussion is around a professional topic such as you booking an appointment with her.<\/p>\n
Here, the more standard way of how to say you\u00a0<\/em>in Germany to this person would be\u00a0to use the\u00a0Sie<\/em>\u00a0form until the other person indicates otherwise.<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Sports \/ hobbies” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n
Sports and Hobbies<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
The informal environment dictates that Du<\/em> is normally used. This usually includes addressing fitness instructors at gyms, as well as fellow members of official sports clubs and participants in organised events.<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Education” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n
Education<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
German schools have a policy of addressing students doing their Abitur (the school leaving exam for those aspiring to enter university) in the formal Sie<\/em> form, presumably as a mark of respect for them now being considered as responsible adults. The same goes for vocational and further education establishments teaching adult education or apprenticeships: The student – teacher relationship will be a formal one unless both parties align on anything different.<\/p>\nHigher education also follows the formal Sie<\/em>, for both students addressing lecturers and professors, and vice-versa.<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Du-and-Sie-neighbours-min.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.29.3″ width=”60%” width_tablet=”80%” width_phone=”95%” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” box_shadow_style=”preset2″ box_shadow_horizontal=”10px” box_shadow_vertical=”10px” box_shadow_blur=”12px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.6)” width__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Neighbours” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n
Neighbours<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
This is where it can get tricky.<\/p>\n
On the one hand, you want to come across as informal and neighbourly. Whilst on the other hand, you obviously don\u2019t wish to offend someone by addressing someone casually who may be more old school.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s usually best if in doubt to use the Sie<\/em> form, especially when dealing with the baby boomer generation and old age pensioners. In their era, the Sie<\/em> form was used in pretty much all situations other than family and friends.<\/p>\nA different set of rules apply if you and your neighbours are much younger, or perhaps if you are a family and you meet your new neighbours at the kids’ playground. Often it will be pretty easy to recognise soon in any relationship with your new neighbourly acquaintances whether you\u2019re both on the same wavelength. If so, pretty soon you will want to give the formalities a kick in the long grass.<\/p>\n
A simple \u201ck\u00f6nnen wir uns duzen?\u201d<\/em> will suffice if you want to propose a more familiar footing. In most cases, you will already have a feel of how warm and friendly their body language is, even if you\u2019re struggling with the language barrier.<\/p>\nIndeed, it is not unusual nowadays for many neighbourly acquaintances between younger people to begin on informal terms. The rule here would be similar to that described in a workplace situation, and to follow the lead given by the person who has addressed you first.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.0.6″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n
Conclusion<\/strong><\/h3>\n <\/p>\n
So, hopefully we have been able to decode a few common scenarios where you otherwise may have struggled!<\/p>\n
The golden rule is if in doubt, use SIE.\u00a0<\/em>If you’d prefer to make the relationship informal, ask the question if they mind using\u00a0DU.<\/em><\/p>\nWhatever you do, don’t just assume it’s OK!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#f8f8f8″ width=”80%” width_tablet=”75%” width_phone=”100%” width_last_edited=”on|tablet” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”2vw||||false|false” border_radii=”on|15px|15px|15px|15px” border_width_all=”1px” global_module=”47539″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”|auto|0px|auto|false|false” custom_padding=”1vw||0vw||false|false”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”1vw||1vw||true|false”]<\/p>\n
Looking for helpful content on another topic?<\/h4>\n
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Just like pretty much every other European language except for English, German has a familiar and polite form of addressing someone in the second person. Du is the familiar (informal) form, whereas\u00a0Sie\u00a0is the official, formal way. In Spain, for example, this is much less of a cultural minefield because everyone more or less uses the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48472,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\u00a0\r\n
The Du and Sie Conundrum: You Can Say You To Me<\/h2>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nJust like pretty much every other European language except for English, German has a familiar and polite form of addressing someone in the second person. These are Du and Sie: Du is the familiar (informal) form, whereas\u00a0Sie\u00a0is the official, formal way.\r\n\r\nIn Spain, for example, this is much less of a cultural minefield because everyone more or less uses the familiar form \u201ctu\u201d except in obviously formal situations (courtrooms, official letters and so on), where they use \"usted\".\r\n\r\nGermany, unfortunately, does not have such an easy and recognisable split.\r\n\r\nWhereas being too informal with someone could in some scenarios offend and come across as being disrespectful, choosing to perhaps be overly formal and use Sie<\/em> would not. The person you are addressing may take this approach as being a little old-fashioned but it would certainly not offend, and is best to err on the side of caution. German society is generally pretty formal.\r\n\r\nWhen I was learning German at school and was taught the rules of Du and Sie, we were told to use the formal Sie<\/em> when addressing basically everyone other than classmates, those younger than us or family members. The thing is, it\u2019s not that simple. It is easy to oversimplify this to 16-year-old high school students. However,\u00a0a worker in an international company who has to deal with various cultural scenarios faces a more complex picture.\r\n\r\nGermans even have two verbs for this;\u00a0duzen<\/strong>, to call someone Du; and siezen<\/strong>, to call somebody Sie.\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s examine a few situations in more detail:\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nOfficialdom & Bureaucracy<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\n![\"German](\"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/church-tax-finanzamt-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>This one is extremely easy on the Du <\/i>and Sie<\/i>\u00a0front. Always use the Sie form.<\/strong> They will do the same.\r\n\r\nWhen dealing with the police, it is even enshrined in German law that one is not permitted to use the informal Du<\/em>. Beware if you slip up and make an innocent mistake as it could land you a hefty fine!\r\n\r\nWe covered some bureaucratic necessities<\/a> during your first few weeks in Germany in an earlier post.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nWork<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s get the trickiest one out of the way with first!\r\n\r\nThe German work environment can be a tough one for expats to acclimatise to for many reasons, but one of the foremost is the etiquette around formalities in the workplace. Our earlier post around German workplace culture<\/a> helps to set the scene on what to expect. Small and medium-sized, family owned businesses tend to be more old school when it comes to workplace formalities. Creative industries and larger corporations tend to be more chilled and have moved with the times.\r\n\r\nAs a very general rule, Germans tend to address each other formally at work<\/strong> unless they explicitly agree to be on more familiar terms with one another. It is not unusual for colleagues who have known each other and shared an office for 15 years to still use Sie<\/em> and to address each other as Herr X and Frau Y, although this is now becoming more uncommon as younger Germans who have experienced more laid-back cultures replace retiring baby-boomers.\r\n\r\nCertainly if you are going to be managing subordinates, you should begin by addressing them formally and then ask them if they feel happy to duzen<\/em>. Be prepared that a member of staff may say no! Likewise, you should address your boss formally until he or she decides to instigate moving to a more informal relationship. A more junior member of staff should not be addressed involuntarily using the informal Du<\/em>, when they are expected to address their seniors as Sie<\/em>.\r\n\r\n![\"Du](\"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Du-and-Sie-Work-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>This setup is gradually changing.<\/strong> Especially in foreign-owned multinational companies, there is often a flat hierarchy policy which stipulates that colleagues all address each other using the familiar Du<\/em> form. This is particularly prevalent in American, British and Scandinavian companies operating in Germany, where working environments are typically less formal and often English will be spoken throughout the company. Tech industries also follow this policy. If you\u2019re working in a startup, it is highly unlikely that even the CEO will want to be addressed as Sie<\/em>.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019re meeting somebody through a colleague with whom you already use the informal Du<\/em>, it depends on the setting. Being introduced to another colleague in the works canteen who is joining you to eat together, it\u2019s usually OK to use Du<\/em> (assuming of course that your colleague and this other person already address each other on familiar terms).\r\n\r\nAt a training event or a trade fair, I would err more on the side of caution and address people formally, even if you are being introduced to them by a colleague who is a mutual connection and with whom you are on familiar terms. You can soon break free of the formalities if both parties are happy to move to Du<\/em>. As a foreigner, it's usually best to let the German take the lead on this one!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nAcquaintances met through friends<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nIf the setting is in an informal environment, such as in a bar or caf\u00e9, a housewarming party, kids\u2019 birthday and so on, in almost all cases it is the norm to start off using Du<\/em>. The logic goes that if the introduction is made through a mutual friend, this is sufficient enough upon which to address one another informally, just as you do with your friend.\r\n\r\nThe logic changes if, for example, your friend introduces you to her sister, who let\u2019s say happens to be a dentist, and the discussion is around a professional topic such as you booking an appointment with her. Here it would be normal to use Sie<\/em> until the other person instigates a more informal relationship.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nSports and Hobbies<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/DuSieSports-min-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>The informal environment dictates that Du<\/em> is normally used. This usually includes addressing fitness instructors at gyms, as well as fellow members of official sports clubs and participants in organised events.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n<\/h3>\r\n<\/h3>\r\n<\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\nChildren and youths<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nChildren are typically addressed as Du<\/em> by adults, up until the point that they become adults themselves, i.e. at around 18 years of age, at which point .\r\n\r\nThe risk of a cultural faux-pas here is if you happen to address a baby-faced 19 or 20 year old as Du<\/em>! If in doubt, just play it safe and use Sie<\/em>.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nEducation<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\n![\"Du](\"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Du-and-Sie-education-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>German schools have a policy of addressing students doing their Abitur (the school leaving exam for those aspiring to enter university) in the formal Sie<\/em> form, presumably as a mark of respect for them now being considered as responsible adults. The same goes for vocational and further education establishments teaching adult education or apprenticeships: The student - teacher relationship will be a formal one unless both parties align on anything different.\r\n\r\nHigher education also follows the formal Sie<\/em>, for both students addressing lecturers and professors, and vice-versa.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nNeighbours<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nThis is where it can get tricky.\r\n\r\nOn the one hand, you want to come across as informal and neighbourly. Whilst on the other hand, you obviously don\u2019t wish to offend someone by addressing someone casually who may be more old school.\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s usually best if in doubt to use the Sie<\/em> form, especially when dealing with the baby boomer generation and old age pensioners. In their era, the Sie<\/em> form was used in pretty much all situations other than family and friends.\r\n\r\n![\"Du](\"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Du-and-Sie-neighbours-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>A different set of rules apply if you and your neighbours are much younger, or perhaps if you are a family and you meet your new neighbours at the kids' playground. Often it will be pretty easy to recognise soon in any relationship with your new neighbourly acquaintances whether you\u2019re both on the same wavelength. If so, pretty soon you will want to give the formalities a kick in the long grass. A simple \u201ck\u00f6nnen wir uns duzen?\u201d<\/em> will suffice if you want to propose a more familiar footing. In most cases, you will already have a feel of how warm and friendly their body language is, even if you\u2019re struggling with the language barrier.\r\n\r\nIndeed, it is not unusual nowadays for many neighbourly acquaintances between younger people to begin on informal terms. The rule here would be similar to that described in a workplace situation, and to follow the lead given by the person who has addressed you first.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nSo, hopefully we have been able to decode a few common scenarios where you otherwise may have struggled!\r\n\r\nSave<\/span>Save<\/span>\r\n\r\nSave<\/span>Save<\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[261],"tags":[176,316],"class_list":["post-3062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-guides","tag-du-and-sie","tag-how-to-say-you-in-german"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3062"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48511,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3062\/revisions\/48511"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
The person you are addressing may take this approach as being a little old-fashioned but it would certainly not offend, and is best to err on the side of caution. German society is generally pretty formal.<\/p>\n
When I was learning German at school and was taught the rules how to say you<\/em> in German, we were told to use the formal Sie<\/em> when addressing basically everyone other than classmates, those younger than us or family members. While it’s easy to oversimplify this to 16-year-old high school students,\u00a0an employee in Germany who has to deal with various private and professional scenarios faces a more complex picture.<\/p>\n Germans even have two verbs for distinguishing between both of these forms;\u00a0duzen <\/strong>(to call somebody “Du”)\u00a0<\/strong>and siezen <\/strong>(to call somebody “Sie”).<\/p>\n Let\u2019s examine a few situations in more detail:Save<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Du-and-Sie-Work-min.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.29.3″ width=”60%” width_tablet=”80%” width_phone=”95%” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” box_shadow_style=”preset2″ box_shadow_horizontal=”10px” box_shadow_vertical=”10px” box_shadow_blur=”12px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.6)” width__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Officialdom Bureaucracy” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This one is extremely easy on the Du <\/i>and Sie<\/i>\u00a0front. Always use the Sie form.<\/strong> They will do the same.<\/p>\n When dealing with the police, it is even enshrined in German law that one is not permitted to use the informal Du<\/em>. Beware if you slip up and make an innocent mistake as it could land you a hefty fine!<\/p>\n For all of your other bureaucratic necessities upon arrival in Germany<\/a>, you’re going to need the Sie form too.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Work” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let\u2019s get the trickiest part of how to say you\u00a0<\/em>in Germany\u00a0out of the way with first!<\/p>\n The German work environment can be a tough one for expats to acclimatise to for many reasons, but one of the foremost is the etiquette around formalities – i.e. when to use Du and Sie – in the workplace. Our earlier post around German workplace culture<\/a> helps to set the scene on what to expect.<\/p>\n Small and medium-sized, family owned businesses tend to be more old school when it comes to workplace formalities. Creative industries and larger corporations tend to be more chilled and have moved with the times.<\/p>\n As a very general rule, Germans tend to address each other formally at work<\/strong> unless they explicitly agree to be on more familiar terms with one another. It is not unusual for colleagues who have known each other and shared an office for 15 years to still use Sie<\/em> and to address each other as Herr X and Frau Y, although this is now becoming more uncommon as younger Germans who have experienced more laid-back cultures replace retiring baby-boomers.<\/p>\n Certainly if you are going to be managing subordinates, you should begin by addressing them formally and then ask them if they feel happy to duzen<\/em>.<\/p>\n Be prepared that a member of staff may say no! Likewise, you should address your boss formally until he or she decides to instigate moving to a more informal relationship.<\/p>\n A more junior member of staff should not be addressed involuntarily using the informal Du<\/em>, when they are expected to address their seniors as Sie<\/em>.<\/p>\n This setup is gradually changing.<\/strong> Especially in foreign-owned multinational companies, there is often a flat hierarchy policy which stipulates that colleagues all address each other using the familiar Du<\/em> form.<\/p>\n This is particularly prevalent in American, British and Scandinavian companies operating in Germany, where working environments are typically less formal and often English will be spoken throughout the company.<\/p>\n Tech industries also follow this policy. If you\u2019re working in a startup, it is highly unlikely that even the CEO will want to be addressed as Sie<\/em>.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re meeting somebody through a colleague with whom you already use the informal Du<\/em>, it depends on the setting. Being introduced to another colleague in the works canteen who is joining you to eat together, it\u2019s usually OK to use Du<\/em> (assuming of course that your colleague and this other person already address each other on familiar terms).<\/p>\n At a training event or a trade fair, I would err more on the side of caution and address people formally, even if you are being introduced to them by a colleague who is a mutual connection and with whom you are on familiar terms. You can soon break free of the formalities if both parties are happy to move to Du<\/em>. As a foreigner, it’s usually best to let the German take the lead on this one!<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Du-and-Sie-kids-min.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.29.3″ width=”60%” width_tablet=”80%” width_phone=”95%” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” box_shadow_style=”preset2″ box_shadow_horizontal=”10px” box_shadow_vertical=”10px” box_shadow_blur=”12px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.6)” width__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Children and Youths” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Children are typically addressed as Du<\/em> by adults, up until the point that they become adults themselves, i.e. at around 18 years of age, at which point .<\/p>\n The risk of a cultural faux-pas here is if you happen to address a baby-faced 19 or 20 year old as Du<\/em>! If in doubt, just play it safe and use Sie<\/em>.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Acquaintances met through friends” _builder_version=”4.5.7″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If the setting is in an informal environment, such as in a bar or caf\u00e9, a housewarming party, kids\u2019 birthday and so on, in almost all cases it is the norm to start off using Du<\/em>.<\/p>\n The logic goes that if the introduction is made through a mutual friend, this is sufficient enough upon which to address one another informally, just as you do with your friend.<\/p>\n The logic changes if, for example, your friend introduces you to her sister, who let\u2019s say happens to be a dentist, and the discussion is around a professional topic such as you booking an appointment with her.<\/p>\n Here, the more standard way of how to say you\u00a0<\/em>in Germany to this person would be\u00a0to use the\u00a0Sie<\/em>\u00a0form until the other person indicates otherwise.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Sports \/ hobbies” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The informal environment dictates that Du<\/em> is normally used. This usually includes addressing fitness instructors at gyms, as well as fellow members of official sports clubs and participants in organised events.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Education” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n German schools have a policy of addressing students doing their Abitur (the school leaving exam for those aspiring to enter university) in the formal Sie<\/em> form, presumably as a mark of respect for them now being considered as responsible adults. The same goes for vocational and further education establishments teaching adult education or apprenticeships: The student – teacher relationship will be a formal one unless both parties align on anything different.<\/p>\n Higher education also follows the formal Sie<\/em>, for both students addressing lecturers and professors, and vice-versa.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Du-and-Sie-neighbours-min.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.29.3″ width=”60%” width_tablet=”80%” width_phone=”95%” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” box_shadow_style=”preset2″ box_shadow_horizontal=”10px” box_shadow_vertical=”10px” box_shadow_blur=”12px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.6)” width__hover_enabled=”on|desktop”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Neighbours” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This is where it can get tricky.<\/p>\n On the one hand, you want to come across as informal and neighbourly. Whilst on the other hand, you obviously don\u2019t wish to offend someone by addressing someone casually who may be more old school.<\/p>\n It\u2019s usually best if in doubt to use the Sie<\/em> form, especially when dealing with the baby boomer generation and old age pensioners. In their era, the Sie<\/em> form was used in pretty much all situations other than family and friends.<\/p>\n A different set of rules apply if you and your neighbours are much younger, or perhaps if you are a family and you meet your new neighbours at the kids’ playground. Often it will be pretty easy to recognise soon in any relationship with your new neighbourly acquaintances whether you\u2019re both on the same wavelength. If so, pretty soon you will want to give the formalities a kick in the long grass.<\/p>\n A simple \u201ck\u00f6nnen wir uns duzen?\u201d<\/em> will suffice if you want to propose a more familiar footing. In most cases, you will already have a feel of how warm and friendly their body language is, even if you\u2019re struggling with the language barrier.<\/p>\n Indeed, it is not unusual nowadays for many neighbourly acquaintances between younger people to begin on informal terms. The rule here would be similar to that described in a workplace situation, and to follow the lead given by the person who has addressed you first.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.0.6″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”3.29.3″]<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So, hopefully we have been able to decode a few common scenarios where you otherwise may have struggled!<\/p>\n The golden rule is if in doubt, use SIE.\u00a0<\/em>If you’d prefer to make the relationship informal, ask the question if they mind using\u00a0DU.<\/em><\/p>\n Whatever you do, don’t just assume it’s OK!<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#f8f8f8″ width=”80%” width_tablet=”75%” width_phone=”100%” width_last_edited=”on|tablet” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”2vw||||false|false” border_radii=”on|15px|15px|15px|15px” border_width_all=”1px” global_module=”47539″ saved_tabs=”all”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”|auto|0px|auto|false|false” custom_padding=”1vw||0vw||false|false”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”1vw||1vw||true|false”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_3,1_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ width=”100%” custom_margin=”1vw||2vw||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|50px|0px|50px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”3.26.3″ custom_padding=”|15px||15px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”FINDING A JOB” url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/finding-a-job\/” image=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/finding-a-job-1.png” alt=”finding a job in germany” image_max_width=”50%” image_max_width_tablet=”50%” image_max_width_phone=”60%” image_max_width_last_edited=”on|phone” admin_label=”Finding a Job” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ header_font_size=”16px” background_enable_color=”off” text_orientation=”center” width=”100%” max_width=”100%” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|10px||10px|false|true” custom_margin_tablet=”||5vw||false|true” custom_margin_phone=”|10px|7vw|10px|false|true” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”5px|10px|5px|10px|true|true” link_option_url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/finding-a-job\/” z_index_tablet=”500″ border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”#4d4d4d” background_color__hover=”rgba(251,219,71,0.5)” background_enable_color__hover=”on” background__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”3.26.3″ custom_padding=”|15px||15px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”RESIDENCE PERMITS” url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/visas-residence-permits\/” image=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/visas-and-residence-permits.png” alt=”visas and residence permits” image_max_width=”50%” image_max_width_tablet=”50%” image_max_width_phone=”60%” image_max_width_last_edited=”on|phone” admin_label=”Visas” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ header_font_size=”16px” background_enable_color=”off” text_orientation=”center” width=”100%” max_width=”100%” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|10px||10px|false|true” custom_margin_tablet=”||5vw||false|true” custom_margin_phone=”|10px|7vw|10px|false|true” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”5px|10px|5px|10px|true|true” link_option_url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/visas-residence-permits\/” z_index_tablet=”500″ border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”#4d4d4d” background_enable_color__hover=”on” background__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”3.26.3″ custom_padding=”|15px||15px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”%22HOW TO%22 GUIDES” url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/how-to-guides\/” image=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/how-to-articles.png” alt=”how to articles” image_max_width=”50%” image_max_width_tablet=”50%” image_max_width_phone=”60%” image_max_width_last_edited=”on|phone” admin_label=”How to Articles” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ header_font_size=”16px” background_enable_color=”off” text_orientation=”center” width=”100%” max_width=”100%” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|10px||10px|false|true” custom_margin_tablet=”||5vw||false|true” custom_margin_phone=”|10px|7vw|10px|false|true” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”5px|10px|5px|10px|true|true” link_option_url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/how-to-guides\/” z_index_tablet=”500″ border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”#4d4d4d” background_enable_color__hover=”on” background__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_3,1_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ width=”100%” custom_margin=”0vw|auto|0vw|auto|true|false” custom_padding=”0px|50px|2vw|50px|false|false”][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”3.26.3″ custom_padding=”|15px||15px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”LIFE IN GERMANY” url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/life-in-germany\/” image=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/life-in-germany.png” alt=”life in germany” image_max_width=”50%” image_max_width_tablet=”50%” image_max_width_phone=”60%” image_max_width_last_edited=”on|phone” admin_label=”Life in Germany” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ header_font_size=”16px” background_enable_color=”off” text_orientation=”center” width=”100%” max_width=”100%” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|10px||10px|false|true” custom_margin_tablet=”||5vw||false|true” custom_margin_phone=”|10px|7vw|10px|false|true” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”5px|10px|5px|10px|true|true” link_option_url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/life-in-germany\/” z_index_tablet=”500″ border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”#4d4d4d” background_enable_color__hover=”on” background__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”3.26.3″ custom_padding=”|15px||15px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”HEALTHCARE” url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/healthcare\/” image=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/healthcare.png” alt=”health insurance in Germany” image_max_width=”50%” image_max_width_tablet=”50%” image_max_width_phone=”60%” image_max_width_last_edited=”on|phone” admin_label=”Healthcare” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ header_font_size=”16px” background_enable_color=”off” text_orientation=”center” width=”100%” max_width=”100%” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|10px||10px|false|true” custom_margin_tablet=”||5vw||false|true” custom_margin_phone=”|10px|7vw|10px|false|true” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”5px|10px|5px|10px|true|true” link_option_url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/healthcare\/” z_index_tablet=”500″ border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”#4d4d4d” background_enable_color__hover=”on” background__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”3.26.3″ custom_padding=”|15px||15px|false|false”][et_pb_blurb title=”HOUSING” url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/housing\/” image=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/housing.png” alt=”apartments in Germany” image_max_width=”50%” image_max_width_tablet=”50%” image_max_width_phone=”60%” image_max_width_last_edited=”on|phone” admin_label=”Housing” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ header_font_size=”16px” background_enable_color=”off” text_orientation=”center” width=”100%” max_width=”100%” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|10px||10px|false|true” custom_margin_tablet=”||5vw||false|true” custom_margin_phone=”|10px|7vw|10px|false|true” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”5px|10px|5px|10px|true|true” link_option_url=”https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/blog\/housing\/” z_index_tablet=”500″ border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”#4d4d4d” background_enable_color__hover=”on” background__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_blurb][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Just like pretty much every other European language except for English, German has a familiar and polite form of addressing someone in the second person. Du is the familiar (informal) form, whereas\u00a0Sie\u00a0is the official, formal way. In Spain, for example, this is much less of a cultural minefield because everyone more or less uses the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48472,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\u00a0\r\nOfficialdom & Bureaucracy<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Work<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Children and youths<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Acquaintances met through friends<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Sports and Hobbies<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Education<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Neighbours<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Conclusion<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Looking for helpful content on another topic?<\/h4>\n
The Du and Sie Conundrum: You Can Say You To Me<\/h2>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nJust like pretty much every other European language except for English, German has a familiar and polite form of addressing someone in the second person. These are Du and Sie: Du is the familiar (informal) form, whereas\u00a0Sie\u00a0is the official, formal way.\r\n\r\nIn Spain, for example, this is much less of a cultural minefield because everyone more or less uses the familiar form \u201ctu\u201d except in obviously formal situations (courtrooms, official letters and so on), where they use \"usted\".\r\n\r\nGermany, unfortunately, does not have such an easy and recognisable split.\r\n\r\nWhereas being too informal with someone could in some scenarios offend and come across as being disrespectful, choosing to perhaps be overly formal and use Sie<\/em> would not. The person you are addressing may take this approach as being a little old-fashioned but it would certainly not offend, and is best to err on the side of caution. German society is generally pretty formal.\r\n\r\nWhen I was learning German at school and was taught the rules of Du and Sie, we were told to use the formal Sie<\/em> when addressing basically everyone other than classmates, those younger than us or family members. The thing is, it\u2019s not that simple. It is easy to oversimplify this to 16-year-old high school students. However,\u00a0a worker in an international company who has to deal with various cultural scenarios faces a more complex picture.\r\n\r\nGermans even have two verbs for this;\u00a0duzen<\/strong>, to call someone Du; and siezen<\/strong>, to call somebody Sie.\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s examine a few situations in more detail:\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n
Officialdom & Bureaucracy<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\n
<\/a>This one is extremely easy on the Du <\/i>and Sie<\/i>\u00a0front. Always use the Sie form.<\/strong> They will do the same.\r\n\r\nWhen dealing with the police, it is even enshrined in German law that one is not permitted to use the informal Du<\/em>. Beware if you slip up and make an innocent mistake as it could land you a hefty fine!\r\n\r\nWe covered some bureaucratic necessities<\/a> during your first few weeks in Germany in an earlier post.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nWork<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s get the trickiest one out of the way with first!\r\n\r\nThe German work environment can be a tough one for expats to acclimatise to for many reasons, but one of the foremost is the etiquette around formalities in the workplace. Our earlier post around German workplace culture<\/a> helps to set the scene on what to expect. Small and medium-sized, family owned businesses tend to be more old school when it comes to workplace formalities. Creative industries and larger corporations tend to be more chilled and have moved with the times.\r\n\r\nAs a very general rule, Germans tend to address each other formally at work<\/strong> unless they explicitly agree to be on more familiar terms with one another. It is not unusual for colleagues who have known each other and shared an office for 15 years to still use Sie<\/em> and to address each other as Herr X and Frau Y, although this is now becoming more uncommon as younger Germans who have experienced more laid-back cultures replace retiring baby-boomers.\r\n\r\nCertainly if you are going to be managing subordinates, you should begin by addressing them formally and then ask them if they feel happy to duzen<\/em>. Be prepared that a member of staff may say no! Likewise, you should address your boss formally until he or she decides to instigate moving to a more informal relationship. A more junior member of staff should not be addressed involuntarily using the informal Du<\/em>, when they are expected to address their seniors as Sie<\/em>.\r\n\r\n
<\/a>This setup is gradually changing.<\/strong> Especially in foreign-owned multinational companies, there is often a flat hierarchy policy which stipulates that colleagues all address each other using the familiar Du<\/em> form. This is particularly prevalent in American, British and Scandinavian companies operating in Germany, where working environments are typically less formal and often English will be spoken throughout the company. Tech industries also follow this policy. If you\u2019re working in a startup, it is highly unlikely that even the CEO will want to be addressed as Sie<\/em>.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019re meeting somebody through a colleague with whom you already use the informal Du<\/em>, it depends on the setting. Being introduced to another colleague in the works canteen who is joining you to eat together, it\u2019s usually OK to use Du<\/em> (assuming of course that your colleague and this other person already address each other on familiar terms).\r\n\r\nAt a training event or a trade fair, I would err more on the side of caution and address people formally, even if you are being introduced to them by a colleague who is a mutual connection and with whom you are on familiar terms. You can soon break free of the formalities if both parties are happy to move to Du<\/em>. As a foreigner, it's usually best to let the German take the lead on this one!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nAcquaintances met through friends<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nIf the setting is in an informal environment, such as in a bar or caf\u00e9, a housewarming party, kids\u2019 birthday and so on, in almost all cases it is the norm to start off using Du<\/em>. The logic goes that if the introduction is made through a mutual friend, this is sufficient enough upon which to address one another informally, just as you do with your friend.\r\n\r\nThe logic changes if, for example, your friend introduces you to her sister, who let\u2019s say happens to be a dentist, and the discussion is around a professional topic such as you booking an appointment with her. Here it would be normal to use Sie<\/em> until the other person instigates a more informal relationship.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n
Sports and Hobbies<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\n
<\/a>The informal environment dictates that Du<\/em> is normally used. This usually includes addressing fitness instructors at gyms, as well as fellow members of official sports clubs and participants in organised events.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n<\/h3>\r\n
<\/h3>\r\n
<\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n
Children and youths<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nChildren are typically addressed as Du<\/em> by adults, up until the point that they become adults themselves, i.e. at around 18 years of age, at which point .\r\n\r\nThe risk of a cultural faux-pas here is if you happen to address a baby-faced 19 or 20 year old as Du<\/em>! If in doubt, just play it safe and use Sie<\/em>.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n
Education<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\n
<\/a>German schools have a policy of addressing students doing their Abitur (the school leaving exam for those aspiring to enter university) in the formal Sie<\/em> form, presumably as a mark of respect for them now being considered as responsible adults. The same goes for vocational and further education establishments teaching adult education or apprenticeships: The student - teacher relationship will be a formal one unless both parties align on anything different.\r\n\r\nHigher education also follows the formal Sie<\/em>, for both students addressing lecturers and professors, and vice-versa.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\nNeighbours<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nThis is where it can get tricky.\r\n\r\nOn the one hand, you want to come across as informal and neighbourly. Whilst on the other hand, you obviously don\u2019t wish to offend someone by addressing someone casually who may be more old school.\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s usually best if in doubt to use the Sie<\/em> form, especially when dealing with the baby boomer generation and old age pensioners. In their era, the Sie<\/em> form was used in pretty much all situations other than family and friends.\r\n\r\n
<\/a>A different set of rules apply if you and your neighbours are much younger, or perhaps if you are a family and you meet your new neighbours at the kids' playground. Often it will be pretty easy to recognise soon in any relationship with your new neighbourly acquaintances whether you\u2019re both on the same wavelength. If so, pretty soon you will want to give the formalities a kick in the long grass. A simple \u201ck\u00f6nnen wir uns duzen?\u201d<\/em> will suffice if you want to propose a more familiar footing. In most cases, you will already have a feel of how warm and friendly their body language is, even if you\u2019re struggling with the language barrier.\r\n\r\nIndeed, it is not unusual nowadays for many neighbourly acquaintances between younger people to begin on informal terms. The rule here would be similar to that described in a workplace situation, and to follow the lead given by the person who has addressed you first.\r\n\r\n\u00a0\r\n\r\nSo, hopefully we have been able to decode a few common scenarios where you otherwise may have struggled!\r\n\r\nSave<\/span>Save<\/span>\r\n\r\nSave<\/span>Save<\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[261],"tags":[176,316],"class_list":["post-3062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-guides","tag-du-and-sie","tag-how-to-say-you-in-german"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3062"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48511,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3062\/revisions\/48511"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liveworkgermany.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}